Who We Were, Who We Are, Who We Will Always Be
by Caitriona3
Summary: They cannot lose Narnia just because they have returned to England. Narnia will forever be a part of them. General disclaimer: If you recognize it from book or film, I do not own it.


_Dearest John,_

_The children are finally home! Oh, I am sorry, my love. I do miss you and certainly pray you are safe, but I am so very happy to have the children home once more! It seems so long since I had to send them away. With the Blitz apparently over and our own pilots overhead, the government finally felt it was safe for the children to return to London. I have missed them so much. With you gone and them away in the country, I have been dreadfully alone. Now that they are safely home, I can only imagine the joy we shall all feel when you return._

_I know I am carrying on so, but they seem to have changed so much for the year they were away. I feel as though I have missed some vital part of their lives and I can never reclaim that time. Peter…before they left he tried so hard to be the man of the family, trying to protect us while you are away. It left him little patience for the younger children, especially Edmund. Now, however, he has matured. His patience and acceptance of the others…John, you would be so proud of him! He actually talks to Edmund now, asking him for his opinion and he listens when his younger brother speaks. He and Susan also seem to have reached some form of understanding. Do you remember how she would challenge him? Especially over his 'high-handedness'? Now I watch them work together, sharing the responsibilities of the household. However, and this is the part I find most unusual, when Peter does actually give an order, she doesn't argue! I almost had to sit down I was so surprised the first time I saw her trust him so much as to obey without question. It was startling. Even more surprising though, Peter later sat down and explained his reasoning to her. Going away for a year has matured both of them._

_It is the younger two who have startled me the most. Edmund had grown so moody, so sullen before he left. I could see him pulling away from all of us. And little Lucy…she began to grow so quiet and withdrawn. Now…_

"Mum?"

Helen Pevensie looked up from her letter as the cheerful voice called out. "Yes, Lucy?"

"May I go for a walk?" Lucy asked, a smile settling on her lips.

"Oh," her mother frowned. "I really don't like the idea of you going alone."

Edmund stuck his head in the doorway. "I can go with her, Mum."

"Yes, thank you, Edmund," she sighed. "That would be wonderful. Susan should be home from the market around noon, and we'll have luncheon. Do try and be home by then."

The two children agreed and headed outside. Lucy tipped back her head and inhaled a deep breath. She gave a small disappointed grimace.

"What's wrong, sis?" Edmund asked as they made their way down the steps.

"Nothing much," she shrugged. "It's just…well, I miss the smell of the flowers at Cair Paravel."

"The salty tang off the Great Eastern Ocean?" he asked, bumping her shoulder softly.

She nodded. "I even miss the smell of the heather near Professor Kirke's. London just feels too…too…"

"Close?"

"Yes."

The pair wandered through the streets. They passed bombed out buildings and watched as soldiers marched by. The soldiers would nod and smile at the children. Some of them tried to keep the two from seeing the city's scars.

"How strange it is," Edmund murmured.

Lucy tilted her head. "What is?"

"I just find their desire to shield us amusing," he commented. "It has been a long time since someone other than Mother treated us as children."

She gave a light laugh. "Ah, but they have no idea who we truly are. One can hardly blame them."

"I know," he answered with a tiny shrug. "I don't, but I am finding it difficult to leave 'the Just' behind and simply be Edmund again."

"Are you supposed to?" She inclined her head in question, a mingled light of curiosity and challenge in her young-old eyes. "You can still see 'the Magnificent' in Peter when he thinks something is truly important. Even more, the 'High King' never really leaves his eyes. Susan seems to be more at home, but 'the Gentle' has peeked out a time or two. I certainly don't want to lose 'the Valiant'. Aslan himself awarded those titles to us."

He mused over her words as they sat on a bench under some trees at a crossroads. She leaned her head on his shoulder and let him think in peace. A breeze ruffled through the branches overhead and, if she closed her eyes, she could almost hear the dryads whispering in the rustle of leaves. After several minutes he sighed. "I don't want to lose them either. I never want to lose who I am, who Narnia made me, but it's hard." She nodded, her cheek rubbing against his jacket.

"Still, I'd rather deal with being both Lucy Pevensie and Lucy the Valiant than to never have known Aslan," she murmured.

"Oh, absolutely," he agreed fervently. "I'll juggle the identities for as long as it takes to go back again rather than give up Aslan."

"Maybe one day we won't have to juggle them," she ventured. "Maybe one day they'll be one and the same."

"Maybe," he said.

She lifted her head to give him a confused look. "He said we would find him here under a different name. What do you think he meant?"

"I don't know," he answered. "At least, I don't know _yet_. We'll figure it out though. The four of us have done more with less before."

A smile blossomed on her face. "True! And this time I don't have to convince you first!"

"Lucy," he moaned, rolling his eyes. "Didn't we agree not to mention that again?"

"No," she chirped. "You said something about it, and Peter nodded, but I never actually agreed."

"You…!" He grabbed for her, but she slipped free and started running back towards their home. She laughed as he chased her, neither noticing the smiles and stares from the people they passed. When turned the final corner, they spotted their mother waiting for them at the kitchen door. They stopped, breathing heavily and smiled at one another.

Edmund put a hand on her shoulder. "We'll always remember."

Lucy nodded. _ "__Once a King or Queen of Narnia_, always a King or Queen of Narnia."

"Come on, then," He tossed a cheeky grin at her. "Last one home has to weed the garden!" He started running.

"Hey, no fair!" she cried out, chasing after him.

The two siblings, flushed and smiling, ran to meet their mother at the back door.

…_yes, John, I think you will be exceedingly proud of all of our children when you get home. I certainly am._

_All my love,_

_Helen_


End file.
